Dotard vs. Rocket Man: Who Wins the Insult War?

By Morgan Phillips on September 24, 2017

The North Korean nuclear threat is totally not funny, at all. I mean, we’re talking about entire civilizations potentially obliterated, gone.

But does it really hurt to laugh in fear over how asinine the “diplomacy” talks between Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump really are?

Trump addressed the United Nations (UN) this past Tuesday to challenge the organization to help achieve peace resolutions. basically saying “You have one job, UN, so step up and do it.”


A war of words between North Korea and the U.S. has escalated in recent days, including the introduction of some interesting adjectives.  But who will ultimately come out on top? (Image: Uloop News file photo)

He then vowed that the U.S. would “totally destroy” North Korea if need be — and to put the threat of “unthinkable loss of human life” in Trump fashion — trivialized the matter by adding, “Rocket man is on a suicide mission for himself and his regime.”

North Korea retorted with scathing remarks released by the North Korean state news agency. They claimed Trump’s hardball approach to scare Kim Jong Un away from nuclear acquisition, in fact, “his will have convinced me, rather than frightening or stopping me, that the path I chose is correct and that it is the one I have to follow to the last.”

Jong Un even slammed Trump for bluffing, stating that “a frightened dog barks louder.”

He then proceeded to call President Trump a… wait for it,,, dotard. “I will surely and definitely tame the mentally deranged U.S. dotard with fire.”

So, what exactly is a dotard?

dotard- n., a person in his or her dotage

dotage- n., a state or period of senile decay marked by decline of mental poise and alertness

The Trump rebuttal naturally came in the form of a tweet this morning: “Kim Jong Un, who obviously doesn’t mind starving or killing his people, will be tested like never before!”

Meanwhile, Kim Jong Un is probably kicking himself in the butt for repressing free speech because he can’t join in on the good ol’ fun of beefing on Twitter.

North Korea doesn’t particularly have it out for Trump though. The state-sanctioned news agency has a history of savage insults, previously likening President Barack Obama to “a monkey” and former South Korean President Park Geun-hye to both a “prostitute” and a “snake” who should “meet a miserable dog’s death.”

The agency once said of Hillary Clinton that she sometimes “looks like a primary schoolgirl and sometimes a pensioner going shopping”, and of John Kerry that he was a “wolf” with a “hideous lantern jaw.” President George W. Bush? He is “a chicken soaked in the rain.”

The rogue state’s insults resemble something like a middle school bully, overcompensating for a small IQ and deep-seated insecurity issues, who can’t think of anything better than appearance-based insults.

All in all, we can only sit back and find amusement in The Dotard’s and Rocketman’s retorts, hoping that fighting fire with fire will be enough, and the reputation of irrationality of both leaders will be just enough to keep both sides on the defensive so that we do not surpass the brink of extinction.

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